Holed

I'm weak and a prick. I stick to something impossible even when I know it was better left undone. God hates me because of this and let me cry in pieces for my own sake.... 


Mood : Shallow
Listen to : Silverchair - Miss You Love

Stealer

Maybe you shouldn't know them in the first place.
Maybe you should just stay away.
Maybe I shouldn't know you from the beginning.


Oh how I hate your presence here
I wish you just go away, eaten by a three-headed dog, fell from the airplane into the nile river, crashed in the face by a wood log
or any way you want
just.... get out


How it feels when you hang on the phone with my best mate
How it feels when you walk together with my crush.
How it feels when you take away the fun time between us.
How it feels when you won that student's council position, and I did not.


I hate it when you did that to someone else, I really do
it wasn't in any closer to the phrase of nice
and when you did that to me
I'm beyond hate
way beyond hate
I tolerate nothing from you anymore
karma is a bitch, remember that!


Mood : Hating
Listen to : Green Day - 21 Guns

Failure

Do you ever feel like you lost inside your own body and mind?

It's a feeling you feel when you just simply don't trust yourself

with anything

And in my case

everything

The position I applied myself for

Oh the optimistic once I had, it even amazed myself

but I set my hopes too high to be pathetically let down

This event brought me to a hell depressing three days

Reminiscing another failure I had

or should I add the letter 's' to it?

The competition that running a few months back

Oh the optimistic once I had, it even amazed myself

Somebody close to me win it

And she didn't even have an optimist opinion as close as mine

Fuck

The test I had underwent a few days back

Oh the optimistic once I had, it even amazed myself

I didn't even get the result, close to what I wanted

Somebody close to me did

And she didn't even have an optimist opinion as close as mine

Double fuck

Call me lame, feeble, stupid, inadequate, or anything

I don't give a damn

I'm weak like this

and it's nobody's secret that everyone have their own vulnerable side

Sorry to everyone I've been lying to

is not that I'm scared with having nobody while you're gone (even writing it sounds weird and idiotic)

it's just that I'm not strong enough to face anything, yet

Failure might come and catches me while I'm doing things

and it sucks

Mood : Failed
Listen to : All-American Reject - The Wind Blows (Thomas Gold Remix)

Popular

If there's one phrase you should always hold on to in high school
That would be
"Don't fit in with the popular"

Oh the dramas they cause
The mouths that never shut
The attitudes you can't trust

For the reason or two I haven't quite able to ignoring them in 8 grade
but that's another story
Because, I managed to got out beautifully from one of them yesterday

The achievement I will always smiling on

The story begins when one of them commented on a photo of me and our mutual.
I have to admit, it wasn't the best face I could pull off
but whatever, it couldn't ruin anything, could it?
Well, so I was thinking

But, they talked about it
and with talk, I mean talk bad
Come on, what other talent they got other than that?
Oh yeah, making other's life miserable, that's the second

The words they used actually hurting and if I let my emotion take control I could have just cried right now
But I didn't
Instead, I talked very, very calming and just laugh about it
I never thought it would work.
But it did
The comments stopped and they went away
Stupid people

Mood : Winning
Listen to : Papa Roach - What Do You Do

Blogged with the Flock Browser

She is

Fuck, I hate her!

Most people choose the worst words when they curse someone, but, consider that I'm such a nice person to begin with, I just choose wise words like 'may you have the best life, dear mum'

Oh oh oh, now I'm scared of karma

Not

A few minutes ago, I was ready to spill all my anger and rage and hatred to this white screen upon me, but then I was able to control myself and took a deep, very deep breath, so that I could handle this emotion.

Some people need to console a meditation for relaxing, it works perfectly.

Today,

Correctness : Yesterday, (It's 1 in the morning already)

I was ready to step my feet away from the family I have and live this life to the fullest, until someone stopped me with a yell and I just stunned there, couldn't move.

Yeah, okay, so I was being pathetic to stay, but what's the use of running anyway?

I hate when they (parents) start talking about God

For Heaven's sake, I know the one who's gonna fucking punish me, you don't have to tell me, I'm so fucking understand what will happen! Get a new daughter for all I fucking care

Wow, I really do spill my anger here.

Such a shame, my meditation doesn't work perfectly.

Oh well....

Mood : Angry
Listen to : Silverstein - Born Dead